


It's Enough Just To Make Me Go Crazy

by Morimaitar



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Capes, Asexual Character, Asexual Jason Todd, Blow Jobs, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Kinda, Light Angst, M/M, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Semi-Awkward Sex, Sharp Teeth Are Sexy, Sub Jason Todd, because I have no self control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morimaitar/pseuds/Morimaitar
Summary: “Why?”Jason laughs at the strangeness of the question, or maybe just to ease the nervous tension in his core. “Because I love you?” he offers. Then, because Dick is still silent: “That seems like a pretty good reason.”***Jason has never loved like this before.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 56
Kudos: 227
Collections: DC Aspec Week





	It's Enough Just To Make Me Go Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> My sort-of follow up to [Red Is Also A Color](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20433530). It can be read in conjunction with _Red_ , or as a stand-alone fic. At least this one is actually a one-shot this time. :)))
> 
> Happy Asexual Awareness Week!

It’s late, and they both know it. Jason plays idly with the cap of his water bottle, watching his boyfriend kneel in front of the tv. Dick’s apartment still smells vaguely like Coca-Cola and hard candy, with just a hint of that strange, stale smell from the mist machine. 

Dick reaches behind the media console, fumbles around. His pants are snug against the curve of his ass, a tight fit only accentuated by the loose, billowing fabric of his costume shirt. It’s intentional; it has to be. Dick knows how fucking _gorgeous_ he is, how any person with eyes or hands or a brain would be thrilled just to hold his attention for half a moment. He could have anyone. Jason’s even offered, said that if he wants someone _in that way_ then Jason wouldn’t mind, that Dick deserves to have everything he wants. And Dick’s reply is always the same. 

_But I want you, Jason._

Jason rests his elbows on his knees, still turning the cap over in his hands. His legs begin to jitter. Restless. 

“Which one is the lights?” Dick asks. 

“Green extension cord.”

“Ah.” There’s a shuffle, and the blinking orange string lights stop blinking. Dick stands and smiles, showing off the false fangs plastered to his canines. God, he’s handsome. “This was fun.”

“Yeah.” 

“We should do it again sometime.” 

“You mean next Halloween?” Jason asks, and Dick laughs.

“No, I meant, for Christmas or something.” With a sigh, he plops down on the couch next to Jason, throws an arm over his shoulder. “Though maybe if we start planning for next Halloween, you’ll have time to come up with a better costume.” 

Jason gestures to himself, then to the roll of paper towels on the coffee table. “I’m the Brawny guy,” he says. 

“Mmm hmm.” Dick leans closer, nuzzling Jason’s neck. “You’re _my_ Brawny guy.” 

Jason gasps as he feels sharp teeth testing the muscles of his neck. Scraping lower, lower, nipping gently. “Damn,” he groans. “That’s kinda hot.”

Sharp points press deeper into the skin. Jason can feel Dick’s cheeky smile, can picture it spreading across his face. The mere thought is enough to stir warmth inside him. And then he’s smiling too, fingers curling around the silken fabric of Dick’s shirt. 

Before, Jason never smiled like this. Couldn’t imagine smiling like this. His was an incomplete happiness, broken by obstinate denial and the inability to see what was right in front of him all along. He could only soldier on while anger and guilt and fear tore him apart from the inside out. 

And then he met Dick, and learned how to be gentle with himself, how to embrace who he is and change for the better. Radiant, steadfast Dick. Stubborn workaholic, selfless dork, incredible friend. His insistence that he isn’t perfect only makes him more so. 

Jason really, really doesn’t deserve him.

“If I kiss you,” he begins, “you think those things will stay on?” 

Dick sits up, smile sharp and dazzling despite the dim lighting of the apartment. “Don’t know. Wanna find out?” 

“God, yes,” Jason mutters, and leans in to kiss him. 

Kissing Dick is like being swept up in a riptide. Almost frightening in the way it seizes control. Don’t panic; don’t fight against it. Give in to survive. 

Dick nips his lower lip gently, lets out an exhale of a laugh when Jason gasps. They kiss again. His tongue is hot and slick, tasting like cherry candy. The air is hot and thick in the small space between their bodies. Jason’s fists tighten around Dick’s shirt, feeling the soft, warm fabric bunch up between his fingers. 

_Fighting for dominance,_ he thinks, because that’s what all the books say. Yeah, right. Jason doesn’t even try, doesn’t want to. Dick’s tongue meets no resistance as it slides between his teeth. Dick’s warm hands creep beneath the back of his flannel, sliding up and down as his fingers draw shivers from Jason’s core. Then Dick is placing soft pressure on his shoulders, and Jason, delirious, can do nothing but lean back and let Dick climb on top of him. 

Eventually, he remembers his hands. 

He finds the laces of Dick’s collar, pulls the knot free. It’s easy to draw his hands over the flexing muscles of Dick’s chest, feeling each expansion of his lungs as they draw quick breaths. Dick shudders and gasps when they follow the curves of his chest, but still he pushes himself into Jason’s touch. Then they resume, kissing and moaning and nipping until both their faces are aflame. 

It’s obvious when Dick becomes hard. He’s on top of Jason, pressed against his chest, and his tight pants leave little to the imagination. This is always where he breaks the kiss, tells Jason that _he’s sorry_ and _doesn’t want to force him to do anything,_ as if some physiological response were a grave offense. And for a while Jason was grateful for that, when he couldn’t even picture himself being intimate without falling apart. But the more time they spend with each other, the deeper Jason falls in love, the more comfortable he feels in his own skin. 

Jason rocks against Dick, cups his erection through his pants.

“Fuck,” Dick groans, pulling away. “Jason, I don’t…” 

“I want to.”

“Why?”

Jason laughs at the strangeness of the question, or maybe just to ease the nervous tension in his core. “Because I love you?” he offers. Then, because Dick is still silent: “That seems like a pretty good reason.” 

Dick appears torn. “Are you sure?” he asks. 

“Yep,” Jason replies, then wishes he said something sexier. 

“But are you sure?”

“As long as you want to, too.” He flushes, suddenly aware of himself. “Shit. Tell me I didn’t offer when you—” 

“No! I mean, no,” Dick says quickly. One of his characteristic smiles presses at his lips. “It’s just, I had plans to jerk off in the shower tonight, and you know how I hate to rearrange my schedule…” 

“Oh, fuck you,” Jason mutters, and pulls him in for a kiss. But he can tell that Dick is holding back: his hands dutifully on Jason’s shoulders, his tongue shy inside his mouth. 

The last thing Jason wants is to be in charge. 

Breaking the kiss, he looks into the deep, gorgeous blue of Dick’s irises. “Dick, please,” he says softly, and that is all it takes.

The next kiss is fervent, hot with desire. Jason’s heart beats so forcefully he wonders if Dick can taste it. His face and ears are flushed, _burning_. His limbs tremble with nervous anticipation; when he tries to untuck Dick’s shirt he can hardly close his fingers around the fabric. But then two hands hold down his own, and Dick kisses him, wet and carnal, and then Dick’s shirt is on the ground and _god damn_ is he beautiful. 

“Here,” Dick says, and places Jason’s hands on those delicious grooves of muscle at his hips. Then his hands are gone, and he’s mouthing at Jason’s neck. 

Jason swallows, feeling his adam’s apple bob beneath the soft cushion of Dick’s lips. Surely he looks ridiculous, tense and flushed red. “I, um, don’t know what I’m doing,” he mutters. 

Dick trails kisses up the column of Jason’s neck, sucking gently on the soft skin beneath this jaw. “It’s okay. I’ve got this.” 

“Hey Dick?” 

“Hmm?”

“We don’t—we don’t need to go all the way.” _All the way._ God, he sounds like a fucking fourteen-year-old. “I’m fine just...not doing that.” 

“Of course,” Dick mumbles into the crook of Jason’s neck. The touch burns hot as wildfire, and spreads just as fast: down Jason’s spine, across his chest. _God._ His lips are soft and swollen and _begging_ to be played with. “I’m running low on lube anyway.” 

Swallowing nervous laughter, Jason asks, “Why would we need lube?”

Dick pauses. He sits upright and stares down at Jason, expression caught between disbelief and concern. “Um…” 

“I’m joking. It’s a joke.” 

“Oh.” Dick’s posture loosens as he offers an awkward grin. “I mean, you’ve never had a boyfriend before—”

“Jesus Christ.” Laughter escapes Jason, real, honest-to-god laughter, and the tension leaks out of him. It feels good to laugh. “I’m asexual, not naïve.”

“Says the guy who just said he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, Jay. I’ve got this.” With a deft hand Dick starts to finger the buttons of his flannel, popping them open one-by-one. The shirt slips from Jason’s shoulders, and his torso is bared to the chill of the room. “Tell me if you want me to stop.” 

Jason doesn’t want him to stop. Because Dick’s lips are falling lower down his chest—soft as cotton and searing hot—and he’s melting into the sensation, hardening even before Dick starts to grind against him. 

Lightning flits down Jason’s spine. He moves his hands to Dick’s ass, holding tight, seeking to bridge every last molecule of air between them. And soon he’s moving too, hips jerking, desperate for that exquisite friction. Surely he needs it like he needs air.

“So beautiful,” Dick mutters, pinning Jason against the back of the sofa. “Do you even know how beautiful you are?” 

Jason inhales sharply, breathes Dick’s name. 

Grinning, Dick mouths at Jason’s nipple and Jason sees stars. He gasps, fingers digging into Dick’s hips. How is he not on fire? Between his face, and racing heart, and the wet heat of Dick’s mouth…

Dick chuckles softly, rolling his tongue over the sensitive tip. Jason shudders, then once more as Dick’s mouth is gone and there’s nothing but freezing air washing over him. The chill is quickly replaced by the dry heat of Dick’s fingers while he sucks marks into the tender skin of his neck. Every so often the false fangs scrape over his adam’s apple, sharp enough to hurt. And Jason wants…he wants… 

Without warning Dick climbs off of him. Jason almost lets out a whine, aching to feel Dick’s touch again. And yet he clamps his mouth shut, fighting to regain control, to seem like anything but the blushing virgin he might as well be.

Judging by Dick’s smile, the ruse has failed. 

“You’re adorable,” Dick mutters. He hooks his fingers beneath the hem of his pants before pushing them slowly down the swell of his thighs, letting the fabric peel back inch by tantalizing inch. How Jason _aches_ to press his lips against the flesh of those inner thighs. How Jason burns to kiss and caress him until Dick knows exactly how much he means to him. 

Jason tries to stand, only to be pushed back down.

“Shh shh,” Dick mutters, voice soft against Jason’s cheek. His hand finds the zipper of Jason’s jeans, and Jason bites back a groan. “You’re wearing too much. Lift your hips.” 

An order he can’t refuse. Heart a drum in his throat, Jason lets Dick slide his jeans down over his thighs, blushing as the cool air meets his heated skin. His cock is straining against his boxers, so hard it _hurts._

Dick swears beneath his breath, looking him over with raw desire written over his expression. Jason resists the urge to hide himself from Dick’s gaze, instead focusing on the shape of his lips, the blush of his skin, each tempting curve of muscle. In the soft light he looks utterly, painfully flawless, stunning as thunder over a rolling sea. 

“Thank you,” Dick mutters, and Jason falls for him once more. 

He grabs Dick by the hand and pulls him onto his lap until their bodies are pressed together and he is complete. They’re kissing again, and it feels so good Jason forgets that he’s wearing next-to-nothing, forgets the embarrassment of inexperience, forgets the anxiety fluttering in his stomach. Dick wraps his arms around his shoulders, threading his fingers through his hair, devouring his every moan with a kiss. He makes it look so easy, feel so easy. 

Eager to return the favor, Jason runs his hands down Dick’s chest, draws the pads of his fingers over his nipples until they’re hard and blushing. He cups Dick’s ass, kneads the soft flesh until Dick moans into his mouth. The sound of Dick’s pleasure is dizzying. Suddenly Jason wants nothing more than to draw all sorts of sounds from him, to love him until he is nothing but an unravelled, gasping mess. 

Yes, that is what he wants. 

But before he can say anything Dick pulls away slowly, and they are facing each other. Eye to eye, chest to chest, skin to skin. 

The sudden reality of it is like a blow to the stomach. Jason is aflutter once more, mouth dry, face heating.

Gently, Dick brushes a lock of hair from his forehead. Concern flickers over his eyes. “Doing okay?” he asks. 

“Yeah.” 

“We don’t have to do this, you know.”

Jason shakes his head, swallowing nervous laughter. The tension is rising inside of him again, bubbling just beneath the surface of his skin. He wishes he had Dick’s confidence. He wishes he had experience not weighed down by regret and trauma. He wishes he wasn’t asexual, then hates himself for wishing it. 

“I want to,” he says. “I’m just nervous as shit, ‘kay? ‘Cause I’m not exactly Don Juan over here, and you deserve more than whatever it is I am.”

Dick shrugs as an amused smile spreads over his face. “I cannot emphasize how much I do not care about how good you are,” he replies. 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“I just want to be with you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jason says again. 

“You want me to stop?”

No, he doesn’t. He kisses Dick roughly, feverishly, crushing their lips together until he feels the false fangs clash against his teeth. “Don’t stop,” he mutters, and the words feel so obscene in his mouth, the way they drip from his tongue and onto Dick’s. “Don’t stop. Do whatever. I’ll tell you when to stop.”

Their mouths break apart. Dick is looking at him again, eyes sparkling. He slides a hand between them, down, down, until his fingers curl around the elastic of Jason’s boxers. So close it has him throbbing. “Whatever, huh?” he asks. 

Jason nods, breathless.

“Can I take these off?” 

Again Jason nods. There’s a sudden absence of pressure as Dick slides off of him—god, how he misses it already—and Jason holds his breath as Dick kneels between his legs. It’s not the first time someone’s seen him naked, but it’s the first time _Dick_ has seen him naked, and something about it leaves him shivering in anticipation. 

Dick kisses his abs, a gentle brushing of the lips that has Jason biting back a moan. He moves lower, taking his goddamn time as he follows the trail of hair beneath his navel. 

“Nuh uh,” Dick mutters, when Jason tries to get it over with himself. “Wait your turn.”

“You’re a bastard,” Jason forces out, gasping as he feels Dick’s lips on his inner thigh. “ _Fuck_ , Dick. Please.” 

Dick mouths at his erection, breath hot and agonizing. “Please what?” he mutters, and the vibrations are nearly enough to send Jason over the edge. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say!” 

“God, I love you,” Dick laughs. And just like that, he frees Jason’s cock and takes it in his hand, grinning wickedly as a strangled groan leaves Jason’s lungs. 

“Fuck,” he says, throwing his head back. “Stop laughing and do something.”

“I’m not laughing.” 

“You are. You’re laughing at me—fuck!” Jason bites back a moan as Dick starts stroking him. His fingers dig into the cushions beneath him, his breath hitches in his throat. So very different from touching himself. So frustratingly good. 

In front of him Dick hums. “That feel good, love?” he asks. 

Face heating, Jason nods as he watches Dick’s hand slide up and down his length. For no reason at all he feels the need to laugh again, just to ease the pressure pooling in his belly. This—all of this—is supposed to be _sexy_. He’s not supposed to comment on how ridiculous it all is, how fake Dick’s stupid, sexy fangs look when he smiles… 

“I wanna suck your cock,” Dick says. “Will you let me suck your cock?”

Jason snorts. Immediately he throws a hand over his mouth, but he can’t stifle the barrage of giggles, the aftershocks of laughter. 

“Now who’s laughing?” he asks. “What’s so funny?”

“You—you can’t—” He snorts again, unable to contain himself. “Sorry, but—You can’t say ‘dick’, can you? Oh god. You can’t say ‘dick’! I’m sorry. Ha!” 

Dick’s expression is unamused, but his eyes are twinkling. “So can I blow you or not?” he asks.

“Take the teeth out first.”

“You sure?” Dick asks playfully, but already he is prying a thumb beneath the fang veneer, peeling it off from the bottom up. Before he takes off the other one, he quips, “ _I vant to suck your cock_.” 

Jason laughs again. “Oh my god. Just— _ugh._ ” 

His voice fails as Dick takes him into his mouth. His thoughts tangle. Again he throws a hand over his mouth, bites down on the tender flesh to give him clarity, to stall the ragged groans building inside his chest. 

All the while Dick is dragging his tongue over his length in broad strokes, staring up at him with a gaze that turns his blood to molten metal. He plants a soft kiss at the tip, licks a stripe along the underside. 

“Perfect,” he mutters, rolling his tongue over the head. “Look at you, beautiful boy. Doing so good.” 

Jason squeezes his eyes shut and shudders. 

Dick’s hand replaces his mouth. “You can moan,” he says, his strokes smoother now that Jason’s cock is wet with saliva. “I’d like to hear you moan.”

So Jason does. He whimpers when he feels Dick’s tongue once more, threads his fingers through Dick’s hair to spur him on. And the next touch has him moaning, and the next has him all but crying as his muscles tense and he is driven further towards the edge. He’s going to…he’s going to… 

“Stop,” he forces out, gasping for air. A bead of sweat rolls down his temple. When he sees Dick’s face, he adds, quickly, “Not like that. I just don’t want to—not yet—let me return the favor first.” 

“You sure, handsome?” Dick purrs, holding him tight as his full lips brush over the tender skin of Jason’s inner thigh. And just then the trust of it all that gets to him. So vulnerable, so safe. Jason nearly falls to pieces. 

Gently, he pushes Dick away and tucks himself back into his boxers—the sudden cold has him shivering already—before pulling Dick on to the couch. He kneels at his feet, fingers digging into the tanned flesh of his thighs. 

“God, you’re gorgeous,” Jason mumbles. He does as Dick did, taking his time to explore, to kiss his way up and down Dick’s navel and thighs, sucking faint red marks onto the soft skin. At first Dick hums with pleasure, and then Jason traces his length through the fabric of his boxers, and Dick all but whines.

So he likes that. Good to know.

Jason does it again, grinning as Dick gasps and slides his hands through Jason’s hair. His fingers curl around the dark locks, begging. 

“Jason,” he breathes, and the sound courses through Jason’s veins, stirring his desire to please Dick, to make him feel loved and wanted and _perfect._

Flushing with want, Jason peels down the elastic of Dick’s boxers, watches his cock come to a rest against his shuddering torso before taking it in hand. He’s searing hot and throbbing against Jason’s palm, and Jason gives a few hesitant strokes before meeting Dick’s eyes, as if to say, _this okay?_

“You’re so good,” Dick mutters, hand tightening in Jason’s hair, and Jason can’t stop blushing, can’t stop looking up at him. 

“I love you,” he says.

“I know.”

Jason smiles, running the pad of his thumb over Dick’s silky length before sucking the head into his mouth, tasting, teasing. Above him he can hear Dick release a sonorous groan, can feel him arching. He knows he’s being sloppy, clumsy, kissing, licking, exploring. He doesn’t care. 

“God,” Dick gasps, as Jason’s free hand finds his thigh, digs bruises into the skin.

Jason drags his tongue from base to tip, squeezing what his mouth can’t reach. “You have low standards,” he says. 

“I thought you said— _ugh—_ you said you didn’t know what you were doing.”

“Maybe I looked up some shit.”

Dick’s response is a breathless, “Yeah?” 

“Mmm hmm,” Jason mutters around his cock, and the vibration teases the most beautiful sound from Dick’s mouth. So he moans, let the sound of it stoke the fire. 

Giving is a different type of pleasure, one he didn’t expect. Drawing out sinful moans, watching Dick’s face contort with want, feeling him shudder beneath his touch. It’s enough to have Jason unmade. 

And then all of a sudden Dick’s hands are pushing him away, thumbs stroking the curves of his cheeks, running over his wet lips. Jason meets his eyes, drops his hands dutifully to his sides. 

“Did I—”

Dick cuts him off. “You’re wonderful,” he mutters, eyes heavy with desire. “But I want to finish together, okay?” 

The thought has his cock throbbing again. “God, yes,” Jason mutters, letting Dick guide him back onto the couch. He leans back against the soft cushions, heart pounding as his boyfriend straddles him once more, hard length pressed between them. 

“You’re so good,” Dick purrs into his ear. “Tell me you know how good you are, Jason.” 

Jason shivers as he feels fingers falling down his chest, lower, lower—oh, _please_ —until they’re freeing him from his boxers and he can do nothing but moan. 

Dick places a quiet kiss at the corner of his mouth, brushes one hand down the side of his cheek. “I’ve got you,” he mutters, kissing him, rocking against him.

The air is cut from his lungs. With the last of it, Jason breathes, “Dick, please.”

_Please._

Slowly, Dick takes them both in one of his hands with such tenderness that Jason almost cries. He wraps his arms around Dick’s shoulders, buries his face in his neck, jerks wantonly as Dick’s hand glides up and down in a beautiful rhythm. 

Jason moans, loudly. 

Smiling, Dick kisses his jaw, licks up the sweaty grooves of his neck, takes the shell of his ear between his teeth. They move together slowly at first, following some silent cadence that has Jason holding onto Dick until he can no longer feel anything but the unbearable heat between them. 

“Love you,” Dick mutters into his ear. 

“Love you,” Jason gasps, lifting his head to stare into Dick’s face, those wild blue irises, so taken by desire that the sight burns almost as much as his touch. His hands fall down the length of Dick’s spine, settling on the curve of his ass, urging him on, begging for permission. 

Dick steals what little breath he has, rocking faster, harder, until they’re equally lost. His free hand comes to a rest on Jason’s shoulder, fingers digging into the muscle until the sensation blooms white in his vision.

Jason seizes as it pushes him over the edge, gasping Dick’s name as he spills into his hand. Dick isn’t far behind, falling apart in Jason’s arms with a ragged moan. Then they’re both holding onto each other, sticky and panting, bodies limp and flushed pink. 

“It was the teeth, wasn’t it,” Dick says at last. 

Jason makes it all of one second before he succumbs to a quiet fit of laughter, grinning stupidly. “I hate you,” he forces out, body racked with giggles. And he almost apologizes, almost, but then Dick is laughing too, and they’re laughing together, and nothing has ever felt so right. 

“God,” Dick mutters, resting his forehead against Jason’s as he loses breath to laughter. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

“I love you.”

“I know.” Jason plants a quick kiss on his lips, laughs again when he sees the mess between them. “Hand me one,” he says, gesturing to the paper towels on the coffee table.

Dick rips off a sheet and gently wipes them down. “I still think your costume sucks,” he says. 

“Insert ‘suck’ pun here.” 

“Ha ha,” Dick replies, but laughs nonetheless. He kisses Jason once more before climbing off of his lap and picking up his clothes from the floor. “I’m gonna shower,” he says. “Want to join me?” 

Sitting up, Jason pulls his boxers back over his hips. “I heard that isn’t as sexy as movies make it seem.” 

“It’s not. But it’s still fun.” His eyes sparkle. “Plus it’s a good way to cut down my water bill.” 

“Ah. The truth comes out.” 

“Come on, baby,” Dick pouts, batting those gorgeous, thick lashes. “Pretty please? I’ll even wear the teeth.” 

Jason grins. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not saying aces own Halloween now, but that's what I'm saying.
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://morimaitar.tumblr.com/)


End file.
